*Said in the voice of The Proclaimers
A perceived problem with serialised comics is the fact that they just keep on going, with no resolution, the illusion of progress, and a constant resetting of the staus quo, and this is not a complaint without merit at all.
Though Spider-Man is perhaps a prime example of this endless comics-snake eating its stupid stapled tail, for me, Spider-Man’s adventures ended satisfyingly quite some time ago. Around 1996, in fact.
I’ve been aware of Spider-Man as a character for about as long as I can remember, from seeing the old cartoon with Iceman and Firestar, cool toys at the local shitty market, and also his black-costumed appearance in the Transformers: The Complete Works collection.
I never thought about him much otherwise until I was about 12, when, after I purchased an American ‘Wolverine’ comic from Majorca, I decided to, like, ‘get into comics’. Being a bit scared by the slurky unfamiliarity of 2000AD (stupid young me! STUPID), I became a regular reader of the Marvel UK titles ‘Overkill’ (which deserves a post all its own) and ‘The Exploits of Spider-Man’.
‘Exploits’ was an amazing monthly wad of reprints of US comics, typically containing an issue of ‘Amazing’ and ‘Spectacular’ Spider-Mans (Spider-Men?), as well as an issue of ‘Spider-Man 2099′, and also an issue from the classic Lee-Ditko era. It quickly caught me up on what Spider-Man was all about:
One-time nerd Peter Parker gets super powers and, learning about responsibility from a tragedy indirectly related to him, becomes a superhero. His girlfriend dies as a result of his top-secret life, but he eventually reaches adulthood, and becomes a successful photographer with a model/actress wife, and a sideline in crime-fighting and crippling guilt.
That’s a beginning and a middle, certainly, but who wants to float around in the middle of a story forever? Not young me, that’s for sure! Luckily, big changes were in store for the Spider-Man ‘universe’.
SPIDER-CLONE YEEEAHHHHH!
When the ‘mysterious stranger’ that eventually turned out to be a clone of Spider-Man from an old issue I hadn’t read first appeared, I certainly didn’t get any of the hints as to who he was, and the subplot seemed inconsequential, (especially compared to the weird and seedy stuff going on with Shriek at the time). But suddenly JINGS HE’S GOT PETER PARKER’S FACE and I was GRABBED TO THE MAX.
Once again, the Balearics had brought me the gift of comics. Being on holiday in Ibiza at the time, and too pale and sickly and not-quite-pubescent enough to enjoy the holiday like a real human, I spent all my time and money on the smattering of American comics they had at the local shop. The clone saga was playing out in the few Spider-Man comics I could get, random recent issues, with no complete storylines, and it was cool as fuck.
It had another Spider-Man with a hoodie and one with a melty face and pink cloak, and some other clone guy who just stood around grumbling to this guy who was like The Joker (the appeal of alternate superhero versions cannot be overstated to a kid who likes drawing). Sal Buscema was being inked in a way I had never seen or even considered (Bill Sienkiewicz, it seems!) and the story was ludicrous twist after ludicrous twist until finally HOLY SHITE the clone is actually the real Spider-Man and FUCK did Peter Parker just hit his pregnant wife (not sure if that’s been mentioned since, actually)? CRIVVENS.
I never found out what happened immediately after that, due to coming back to Scotland and the comics selection no’ being as guid, ken? Next time I read a Spider-Man comic, it seemed Peter and Ben (the apparent original Peter, yes) were pals, Ben had blond hair and was the current Spider-Man (in a totally skillex new costume), and Peter had lost his powers and retired to live a normal life with his pregnant wife.
And to me, that’s as good an ending to Spider-Man as any, as the old status quo is basically done with by then – Aunt May and Green Goblin and Doctor Octopus and Kraven are dead, Venom’s working for the government, Scorpion’s retired to a bizarre life of sewer-based luxury, and there’s a whole bunch of new villains cropping up. Peter Parker hands over the mantle to someone else, who gets to go off and have brand new adventures with his own villains. Cool! The fact I couldn’t find any Spidey comics locally didn’t bother me, it was a great place to leave it at.
Obviously, since then I’ve had access to Wizard Magazine (nuuurgh) and the internet and borrowed some friend’s Spider-Man comics, and I’ve read enough Marvel/DC to learn that the status quo invariably resets itself every few years (depending on sales and movie deals) and that change in superhero comics is transitory, but when I was too naive to know any of that stuff, I got myself a complete Spider-Man narrative in the space of a few years, with a beginning, middle and end.
This isn’t a ‘My GOD this current incarnation of Spider-Man is not MY Spidey, you killers of precious memory!’ sort of thing, it’s just that Spider-Man comics said all they needed to to me years ago. I hope someone reading the comic nowadays has a similar experience, what with the recent resetting of the status quo? The thought of just reading the same endlessly-repeating story is a little bit too depressing, and I am grateful I was given a jumping-off point that may be much-maligned, but that I was satisfied with and totally fucking LOVED.
Make your own continuity, folks! It’s a survival method.
(For a harrowing and comprehensive take on the Clone era and the behind the scenes hell of it all, you should really check this out: The Life of Reilly)
COMIIIIIIIICS
(Let’s hope I learn brevity)
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