I went to the library again, and grabbed a bunch of comics.
Definitely NOT ‘graphic novels’, these ones:
Desolation Jones: Made in England by Warren Ellis and JH Williams III
Superman: Back in Action by Kurt Busiek, Fabian Nicieza, Pete Woods (mostly)
Ultimate X-Men: Apocalypse by Robert Kirkman and Salvador Larroca and Harvey Tolibao
Hellboy: The Crooked Man and Others by Mike Mignola and Richard Corben (mostly)
I’m going to write reviews of them, fast fast fast, as I’m coming up on the designer drug ‘Scram’ (‘it gets you gone’.) as part of my initiation into a top-sekrit society. Who knew that the rich ran the world? Blew my mind, I can tell you. Anyway, I’ve taken out some comics, I’ve changed my name to ‘Lugnut’, I’m ready for cosmic awareness.
Desolation Jones: Made in England by Warren Ellis and JH Williams III
Got and read the single issues of this when it came out, years ago. Have a look at those moments, as we fall back into the singularity at the ‘end of time’ OH WAIT NO, THE APOCALYPSE DIDN’T HAPPEN.
Or did it? MAYBE IT’S JUST REALLY SLOW? THE REAL ‘END OF THE WORLD’ IS HAPPENING CONSTANTLY, FOREVER.
INFINITE APOCALYPSE (more of him later)
Whuuuuu?!?! It’s all happening at once. All the people who dress like me in ‘real’ life are actually me, inserted retroactively into our constantly moving (but staying still) realito-ficto-existence, just as all Warren Ellis’s characters are either him or the sort of woman he finds attractive.
Coffee. Infodump. Dickheads. Goth Fetish and ‘Snark’ As Attempt to Make Out Objectification Is Empowerment. Is that you behind the moon, W.A.R.R.E.N.E.L.L.I.S.? Are you the cosmic placentic stoplight? Going to turn green?
Staying red, are we? Okay!
Warren Ellis comics and their endlessly-repeating tropes. A boring, old-fashioned observation, but there you go. We’re collapsing into our old opinions, as they are happening now.
And now.
And now.
J.H. Williams III: pretty art, but, I dunno, it doesn’t MOVE me, y’know? I much preferred the art on the follow-up issues that were never finished by Daniel Zezelj. Rocky diamond sharpboyz. So many facets. Look into them. What do you see?
All our potential amounts to nothing in the end, unless it does? Humanity needs to become like the caterpillar, eat the leaf and turn into a cosmic 5D butterfly. We’re just like this comic: all potential, no payoff, cliched and endlessly-repeating ourselves.
Cripes, I see me in the ‘past’ and he held onto antiquated notions of this comic being ‘really good’ but revision happens eventually, and the skin and skeleton I’m wearing now is over a mouth and brain and nerves that says and thinks and types
“I’m not a fan anymore”
I’M GOING DEEPER, I’M FEELING SHALLOWER
FOLLOW ME TO THE NEXT COMIC
OH GOD YOU HAVE TO FOLLOW ME AS YOU ARE ME
NGGGGGHHHH
Superman: Back in Action by Kurt Busiek, Fabian Nicieza, Pete Woods (mostly)
Someone’s standing in the library. Is it me? I…didn’t know I looked as complex as that. Is…is this…am I experiencing…
…HYPERSIGHT??!?
I can hear his/my ‘thoughts’:
“Oh cool a comic from after Superman died in the 90s, I haven’t read any of that post-Doomsday stuff, and it’s by Busiek so maybe it’ll be a rare example of 90s bollocks done well? Oh, who am I kidding, I’ll read anything that even remotely relates to Spider-clones/Azrael/The Eradicator”
I/Me/Us enjoys that ‘past-me’ was/is already thinking of the past, in the form of 90s comics. He/I/Us looked sad when he got home, though, and found out the comic’s actually a mid-2000s thing from some period in Superman stories where he vanished, that I seem to have no interest in. That Me perks up when he finds it contains what he perceives as ‘old’ stories with Jose Luis Garcia-Lopez art, though, but when he reads them, he finds they suffer from Stodgy Unreadable Scripting, like most ‘old’ comics we encounter.
How pitiful That Me appears, unaware that all times are one, even as the trade paperback he holds makes it plainly obvious.
Just as old comics don’t die, and co-exist with ‘new’ ones, so do we/I/you.
Tenses are becoming confused.
Give into the fractal centipede. ALL YOU STAND TO LOSE IS YOUR INDIVIDUALITY.
OH GOD THE PHANTOM ZONE WAS MOTHER ALL ALONG
YOU FUCKING IMMATURE SHEEPLE FUCKS
U LOSERZ CHOSE THE MATRIXX
No
Wait
All is harmony/0111011111111/psychic attack DEFLEKTED/’SHADOW KING’ NULLIFIED/META-XAVIER INSTALLED
I love you.
PURSUE/JOIN ME IN THE/UNTRANSLATABLE CONCEPT/ULTIMATE X-CONTINUUM
Ultimate X-Men: Apocalypse by Robert Kirkman and Salvador Larroca and Harvey Tolibao
Feeling us spiral further into each other, the mind coheres into a semblance of ‘old ways of thinking’, providing contexts for New Thoughtz as the ‘brain’ tries to adapt/cohere/translate.
Old thoughts: ‘Ultimate Continuity exists as an attempt to introduce classic Marvel characters to a new audience, unburdened by continuity’
New thoughts: ‘without prior knowledge of previous regluar Marvel X-continuity, this story is meaningless. As it stands, it’s merely a vaguely-admirable attempt to cram all the convoluted Apocalypse/Onslaught/Sinister stuff into one storyline, which to the apparent intended audience (not the actual audience) would have little point whatsoever.’
Old thoughts: ‘The Ultimate X-designs are abysmal attempts to create hip and relatable characters, the work of old men trying to appeal to a young audience they don’t know and maybe doesn’t exist. Beast and his awful ponytail. Embarassing Punk Dazzler. Cyclop’s goatee’
New thoughts: ERROR OLD WAYS ARE NEW WAYS ARE OLD WAYS ERROR
NO ROOM FOR SALVADOR LARROCA IN THE UNIVERSAL MEGAMIND
BUT BUT BUT I THOUGHT THERE WAS ROOM FOR EVERYONE
IS THIS A ‘BAD TRIP’/IS THE UNIVERSE ‘WAKING UP’ CRANKY?!?!?
ANNGHHH NEGATIVITY/ENEMY/HANGING ONTO GHOST OF LINEAR THINKINGGGG
THOUGHTS: ALL IS ONE
BUT ALL WITH LARROCA IS NONE
THE WHOLE
IS A
HOLE
I/WE/I I I I AM AN
ARSEHOLE
I am
an arsehole
A crashinggggg BORE
I’m CRASHING
I’m coming
Hnnngh
I’m coming
d
o
o
o
w
n
n
…
Are you there?
Where is everyone?
I.. I felt us…all… and it was…
as…annoying…as…
…fuck…
Hold me, I’m scared. Is… are those… lights? Or…insects…?
Oh god…
Just listen as I remember the next comic. Please?
Are people still…there?
No?
Hellboy: The Crooked Man and Others by Mike Mignola and Richard Corben (mostly)
I’m clinging on, I’m looking for a reference point for focus, something solid and reliable. Something…like…this…comic…
Deep breaths. Focus. Focus. Talk about the comic. Whisper it? Is…this my pulse…
…it’s a very slow pulse…
…thought the comic might quicken it to a healthy level…
…but it’s not…
AWWWW MY HEEEEAD WHERE ARE THESE THOUGHTS COMING FROM
AETHERIC ATTACK
I FORGOT TO PURIFY THE SPACE AND THEY GOT INNNN
QUICK THOUGHTS FOCUS FOCUS: THE MANTRA FOR DEFENSE
“Hellboy as a concept and design is one I admire and respect, and much like the films based on them, I will defend the comics and say they are roughly an example of things being ‘good’ but when I read or watch them there will be no emotional response. The Hellboy universe is a solidly crafted (sometimes beautifully so) thing that I just don’t really enjoy. Each volume seems interchangeable and slightly dull and that makes me feel like I’m missing something, and it can’t be denied that the Richard Corben artwork in this volume is astonishing. But has a Hellboy comic ever excited, scared or moved me? No. But I am glad it exists.
I hear hellboy’s dead in the current comics. That might be an interesting read?”
What an unwieldy mantra that was.
Did the trick, though.
Who was trying to psychically attack me, anyway? Feels like I knew, a minute ago. Feels like I knew EVERYTHING.
Now my thoughts are just kind of…empty?
Who’s for a game of Street Fighter III: Third Strike on X-box Live?
Remember, real winners don’t go Ken or Akuma.
Sass-ouroboros