Squamic Gibbouks

hhhg

From the journal of J. P. Malone, 26/05/15

Having received a somewhat intriguing summons from acquaintances long disregarded, I found myself  travelling by iron carriage to a fearsome locale I had sworn to avoid since prior events had so offended my learned sensibilities.

Upon arrival, I swiftly shook free of the trifling sub-conversation and primitive “opinions” of those lesser folk who were to be my hosts during this short stay  (and who looked curiously familiar, as though some parody of a mirror had been placed before me), and retired to a rather beige chamber, to collect my thoughts and rest my weary head, my constitution unduly affected by the otherwise agreeable journey.

Finding myself unwilling to mingle further with the natives, I chose to satisfy my natural curiosity by exploring my immediate area. Opening a characterless, functional idea of a door, I was confronted by the primitive totems of a simpler, ignorant time – boxes of lead-alloy figurines sculpted into the most grotesque shapes, some daubed in garish and primal hues, images haphardly cobbled from such diabolical sources as the undesirable works of J’ayrar Tuhl-kein and the worst excesses of what dwellers of rather unsavoury areas of the city I have chosen as home would term ‘prog‘. Moving beyond these vulgar relics, I found stacks of forgotten manuscripts, some from as long ago as 1994.

Tattered and neglected, though some had been cack-handedly ‘preserved’ in some form of polymer, they remained legible, if not traditionally readable in any way you or I would understand.

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A New Treat

newstreetcover
NEWSTREET VERSUS THE ACCELERATI written by Matthew Craig, art by Steve Roberts

Newstreet versus The Accelerati is a 24 page small press comic with colour covers and b+w interiors, and is a modern superhero tale that feels grounded and real, if not necessarily ‘realistic’.

The setup: Rajesh Ramani is Birmingham super-chap ‘Newstreet’ (named after a train station), and he just wants to look after his dad, fight crime with his martial arts and IT skills, and maybe find love along the way.

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Everything Old is Still Old, Yet Depressingly Contemporary

M4034S-4211
Hello there, slugs! I haven’t forgotten about you in my absence from weblogging, in fact, quite the opposite. Every time I have absorbed a wad of culture, be it comic or film or book or Taylor Swift song, I have thought “aw I should maybe write about this on my blog, eh”. Sadly, this has manifested itself in hideous avoidance and false starts, lumpen unterprose slowly grinding from my fingers to this screen, dead on arrival, before being deleted and forgotten. Glah!

The comics I have been reading and meaning to write about have piled up, so here is part one of some flippant words and catarrh about them, so I can shelve them and free up space in my brain. This section focuses on Mooro and Morro.

(If this all seems as bad or worse than any imagined prose I may have abandoned, don’t worry! It’s not you, it’s me. Unless you’re a piece of shit, in which case, it’s you, it’s always BEEN you, and everyone’s tired of it. )

Oh, and bear in mind: any one of us could be shot by a space laser at any minute.

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Grantasm III

grantasm3

Hiyaaaa! Welcome back to what has increasingly become a website about Grant Morrison comics, and nothing else! Hopefully I’ll remedy that soon. I read SO MANY non-Morrison comics, and I have thoughts about those too, sometimes.

But! for now, let’s continue rubbing Granto’s bald pate, hoping to see our reflection in it. Exciting news: it endlessly refracts light through the msrip/anti-prism of your Crystalline Shared Soul Unit, creating not an image of your face, but a Scalpo-Linear Representation of the following comics.

Basically, what I’m saying is, his head is sort of like a Kindle.

READ ON FOR STUFF ABOUT ZENITH PHASE 2 and THE MULTIVERSITY: MASTERMEN 1

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Grantasm II

grantasm

Hello, Slow Bulleteers! Or, like, ‘Slugs’, as readers of this blog prefer to be called? ‘Slug’, like a slow slimy thing, and also a euphemism for a bullet?

Anyway, that’s you: a slug.

ONLY JOKING: You’re a beautiful, exotic snail, and the house on your back is just darling.

We are living in thrilling times, right enough. Three Grant Morrison comics released in the space of a week! It’s like the olden days of Seven Soldiers, where a visit to the comic shop was a treat! Unless you went to the local one that makes it difficult to find new releases, of course, due to being slow like slugs at stocking the shelves (but not in a gorgeous way like you, you dreamy snail!).

So! Follow my glittering, rainbow-hued snail trail into this ‘blog post’, as I review and spoil the following Granto Comics, which have written on the covers the following, in a way:

M The Multiveristy Guidebook 1 (Rated T Teen, £43)
Annihilator issue five (Mature readers, approx. £3.50 or something)
Nameless No.1 (Rated M//Mature, about £2.50 as Image aren’t total dicks)

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Libreviewary 14/01/15

libreviewary

Aw jings, 2015! Doesn’t seem like a real year, and I keep reading it as ‘2005’. But then, any regular absorber of this website knows my reading comprehension isn’t always the greatest. Good thing I have many local libraries to help me out with this, eh? Bad thing I mainly take out comics, which I fear often make me more intellectually moribund than they were before I cracked open the disgusting and gummy dust-protected tomes I pick from the confusingly-arranged shelves.

Anyway, as top pop posho Uncle Joe Strummer once sung:

“I went to the library
to realise my soul
and what I need
they totally have”

Yeah, Reading: Can’t Fail wasn’t one of his better songs.

Similarly, the following aren’t some of the library’s better comics, but that doesn’t mean they don’t have merit, maybe.

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Shock the Gibson VI

A regular feature (with an awful name) wherein I post a few images from the Ghost Rider 2099 comic to show why it’s the greatest thing of all time*. These may not be the best bits in the comic, so you should go and discover the rest for yourselves? Especially now as I own every issue and you won’t be competing with me for elusive internet bargains.

gr6cov

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