Hiya, Slugs! I try to stop buying ‘floppy’ ‘single’ ‘pamphlets’, but I guess serialised genre fiction appeals to me in a way I cannot deny? Like that time a short while ago, the shelves of my Local Comics Proprietor had three things I fancied. I have bought them and read them, and am going to now write about them. Let’s pretend it’s a few years ago and new comics aren’t out until thursdays in the United Kingdom, and that these ‘reviews’ are timely and relevant.
It was UK Father’s Day on sunday, and I had this post mostly ready, but then was sidetracked by my own outstanding muscles and sleek new bodywork.
Dads, though, eh? If they’re not watching the Top Gear they’re getting confused by simple cleaning equipment while TV’s Mum rolls her eyes! Then they’ll look after one of their kids for an afternoon and be given praise for being SUCH a GREAT father.
LOL! That’s dads!
PUKE, obviously. PUUUUKE (don’t worry, TV’s Mum’ll clean it up!). The media’s heterosexist, cissexist Dad Narrative is an awful one, that actively harms everyone except the worst people, and should not be encouraged.
Comics, though, eh? Look, what I’m going to do is write down the names of as many X-Universe characters I can think of that are dads, or might be dads, or have notable dads? I am not going to use reference materials, so this could all be bullshit, or just anti-mutie propaganda (it’s about ethics in writing about mutant dads*).
*this sort of joke is unlikely to get old anytime soon, unlike dads, who age by the second
I am a slow man! I do not update this site! Today, though, today I bought three comic periodicals, on the day of release, and it has been quite some time since I did such a thing. To commemorate this, I am going to write about them, before most people will have read them, like those people on that website you like!
Look, three comics is a lot, right? That’s the price of one volume of Biomega, or two pints and an Irn Bru, or a cardigan off of Ebay. People that buy, say ten comics a week, how do they justify it?
I don’t know, but I assume they use critical faculties and such, and enjoy or not enjoy the comics, much like myself.
Oh, the following reviews might contain spoilers (not sure, haven’t written them yet), and also, Trigger Warning for discussion of rape.
From the journal of J. P. Malone, 26/05/15
Having received a somewhat intriguing summons from acquaintances long disregarded, I found myself travelling by iron carriage to a fearsome locale I had sworn to avoid since prior events had so offended my learned sensibilities.
Upon arrival, I swiftly shook free of the trifling sub-conversation and primitive “opinions” of those lesser folk who were to be my hosts during this short stay (and who looked curiously familiar, as though some parody of a mirror had been placed before me), and retired to a rather beige chamber, to collect my thoughts and rest my weary head, my constitution unduly affected by the otherwise agreeable journey.
Finding myself unwilling to mingle further with the natives, I chose to satisfy my natural curiosity by exploring my immediate area. Opening a characterless, functional idea of a door, I was confronted by the primitive totems of a simpler, ignorant time – boxes of lead-alloy figurines sculpted into the most grotesque shapes, some daubed in garish and primal hues, images haphardly cobbled from such diabolical sources as the undesirable works of J’ayrar Tuhl-kein and the worst excesses of what dwellers of rather unsavoury areas of the city I have chosen as home would term ‘prog‘. Moving beyond these vulgar relics, I found stacks of forgotten manuscripts, some from as long ago as 1994.
Tattered and neglected, though some had been cack-handedly ‘preserved’ in some form of polymer, they remained legible, if not traditionally readable in any way you or I would understand.
Newstreet versus The Accelerati is a 24 page small press comic with colour covers and b+w interiors, and is a modern superhero tale that feels grounded and real, if not necessarily ‘realistic’.
The setup: Rajesh Ramani is Birmingham super-chap ‘Newstreet’ (named after a train station), and he just wants to look after his dad, fight crime with his martial arts and IT skills, and maybe find love along the way.
Hello there, slugs! I haven’t forgotten about you in my absence from weblogging, in fact, quite the opposite. Every time I have absorbed a wad of culture, be it comic or film or book or Taylor Swift song, I have thought “aw I should maybe write about this on my blog, eh”. Sadly, this has manifested itself in hideous avoidance and false starts, lumpen unterprose slowly grinding from my fingers to this screen, dead on arrival, before being deleted and forgotten. Glah!
The comics I have been reading and meaning to write about have piled up, so here is part one of some flippant words and catarrh about them, so I can shelve them and free up space in my brain. This section focuses on Mooro and Morro.
(If this all seems as bad or worse than any imagined prose I may have abandoned, don’t worry! It’s not you, it’s me. Unless you’re a piece of shit, in which case, it’s you, it’s always BEEN you, and everyone’s tired of it. )
Oh, and bear in mind: any one of us could be shot by a space laser at any minute.
Hiyaaaa! Welcome back to what has increasingly become a website about Grant Morrison comics, and nothing else! Hopefully I’ll remedy that soon. I read SO MANY non-Morrison comics, and I have thoughts about those too, sometimes.
But! for now, let’s continue rubbing Granto’s bald pate, hoping to see our reflection in it. Exciting news: it endlessly refracts light through the msrip/anti-prism of your Crystalline Shared Soul Unit, creating not an image of your face, but a Scalpo-Linear Representation of the following comics.
Basically, what I’m saying is, his head is sort of like a Kindle.
READ ON FOR STUFF ABOUT ZENITH PHASE 2 and THE MULTIVERSITY: MASTERMEN 1